My name is Jenny, and yes I have heard the song before. You know the one that goes, “Jenny I’ve got your number…867-5309…” by Tommy Tutone. And no that is not my phone number so don’t even bother asking. I must have heard this song a thousand times in my lifetime, and it always, always gets old. I work in retail and every time I meet a new customer, usually men who do this, but they have to sing this song to me as if I have never heard it. They think it’s great, but I don’t. I mean, do you even have a clue what this song is about? I would never give some random guy my phone number only to have him write on the men’s room wall for other men to see and have them think they could call me for a “good time.” I think not. I am not that kind of girl. So, please if you ever meet me, do not sing this song to me.
Oh, and if you want to make a good impression, don’t quote lines from Forrest Gump. You have no idea how many people, again usually men, who will say my name in the Forrest Gump accent. I am not the girl who grew up with a boy named Forrest with broken legs and yells out to him, “Run Forrest, run.” I can assure you that it was not me. I am also not the girl who sings half naked on a stage with a guitar covering myself only to have drunken men grab me, and then a boy named Forrest saves me. It wasn’t me. I am also not the girl who snorts, most likely cocaine, and then debates jumping from a roof in 4 inch high heels. I can definitely assure you that it wasn’t me. I am not the Jenny from the movie.